STRESS... what is it really ?
it is a felt sense, usually causing discomfort in your body.
why does it matter so much ???
because most of us humans do not now how to process it completely and in a healthy manner.
it is crucial to feel it, and prioritize processing it daily for genuine wellbeing.
without this skill, we unconsciously suffer and slowly die-ing. chronic illness, or mental distress are the common effects of unresolved stress today. it is ESSENTIAL for the future of humanity to withstand this incredible time we are living with godly like Tecnologies…. and what will come of Humanity and what makes us human ? the felt senses are being ignored. yet they cannot be. because WE WILL ALWAYS BE HUMAN BEINGS. that are in relationship with Tecnology and a society reliant on them.
when we build a daily practice to process it in realtime we free ourselves.
Fast paced lifestyles we experience in our modern world create an excess of daily stressors, and the quantity is climbing to an amount beyond our physiological ability to process in a healthy manner. which in effect they get stuck in our bodies and manifest in our health. causing illness and discomfort.
Stress is not what happens to you but what happens inside of you. Stress is a visceral FELT RESPONSE that moves inside your body. And is looking to give you information and also looking where to go ( take action in some way to resolve it ).
There are 4 stress reactions a body experiences.
1. FIGHT : Feeling …Anger, Pressure , Aggression that can show up as headaches, grinding your teeth, urge to hit crying, knot or burning in digestive tracks, attacking the source of danger
2. FLIGHT : Feeling…. the need to move , fidgety, tense, trapped, restless… can show up in excess excercise, constantly moving legs feet or arms, leaving situations physically. sometimes this can be excitement and we cannot come down from it.
3. FREEZE : Feeling …. a sense of dread or literally cannot move. Can show up as pale skin, stiff body heavy or cold, numb, decreasing heart rate, binge watching tv or screen time, cannot answer when pressured.
4. FAWN : Feeling… overly agreeable or invisible all at the same time. it can show up as a primary concern to make other happy over your own self, be overly helpful, look for approval of others, and be lost and not connected with your wants and needs in real time, not wanting to be seen, or appreciated.
All 4 of these responses are needed through out your day, in a way they are the gifts of being human, the ways our biological construct care for us and keep us alive by handling stress responses and ciphering them through your body to face the moment you are experiencing. these are called ACTIVATIONS { formerly known as triggers ]. I do not use the word trigger, because it has a negative connotation and when working with the truth that these felt senses are neutral, simply ranging in intensity and your capacity to be with that intensity, you then unlock what ever blocks you.
Now in our modern western lifestyle the pace is a gogogo nature, and there rarely is enough time to prioritize noticing what reaction you are in , and assure you are processing it out, rather than getting stuck which results with most modern day ailments.
NOTICING your relationship to these determines your health and capacity to live daily life.
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what does this even mean…..
YOU either are processing out the stress or you are unconsciously disconnecting from it in hopes it will pass, yet that is allowing it to get stuck in your system ( body function ) and not process out. resulting in chronic inflammation and blockages that cause mental + physical illness.
we tend to “ THINK “ our way through things, or unconsciously “ TAKE ACTION “ and both those are not “ PROCESSING OUT “ your stress completely. they are part of the process. the missing link is being aware of what stress response you are in and learn to regulate ( process ) within your nervous system these visceral experiences.
HOW ???
This is STEP 1 : What is my relationship to my daily stressors ?
am I aware when I am stress and link it to which stress response I am in ?
prompt begin with : noticing what stress response you are in.
then dive into where, when and how do i relate to my stress ? reactive or have the capacity and ability to be with the feeling , visceral felt experience and work through it? ( this is somatic work in action ) I will have a list of resources if you wish to dive in the nitty gritty details of beginning this new way of being with your stress ?
examples to explore your relationship to stressors…..
do you fawn and binge watch tv. do you get stuck in fight or flight and get in arguments, and take it out on others. do you self inflict numbing or coping strategies like drinking or smoking, overeating, and get stuck with interrupted sleep patterns. negative self talk or the inability to breathe at a natural pace? move your body.
do you get disoriented and can’t move past a narrative or story in your mind that keeps you in “ poor me “ “ victim mode “ or is it avoidant and overlooking any discomfort you are having in your body when you feel a stress responses.
none of these feelings, or body experiences are negative, they usually are attached to a negative narrative, when your capacity is not able to allow it to flow within you. in reality of what you are experiencing is a neutral experience. we as human attach the narratives and judgement which make it even harder to process the experience out.
STRESS and specifically unresolved stress →DISCONNECTS YOU from your inner workings and needs. Mindset, Neuro-type, emotional capacity, digestive function, stress processing function, circadian rhythm's, hormone function, and these : cardiovascular, skeletal, respiratory, endocrine, nervous, reproductive, lymphatic, immune , urinary, muscular, kidneys, gastrointestinal, mitochondria, excretory systems.
one way to learn how to re-connect to your inner workings is by consciously prioritizing your daily relationship to stress. there are many ways to work on these parts of yourself. I found it can feel unsafe and scary, or take WAY too much time.. decades… when in reality all of it is based on your relationship to stress. now this is layered.
from your childhood how you related to a stressful situation. were you taught how to process it out? this usually becomes our default ( coping ) method of dealing with stress.
this is another article… so focusing back on what you can do today. is explore how you process out a stress response today.
BEGIN WITH :
when you notice a a time you can get overwhelmed. find a safe space where you can connect to your breathe and body. it could be laying on your bed. sitting in nature, walking or how ever you feel most safe in this moment ( this is another article in how to find your true safety. it might not be the same as where you feel safe today to begin to explore your own iOS and that is the nature of healing and growing there is no right or wrong way other than what you need, where and when you need it and you decide. ) which I do urge you not to force anything as you explore cognitively through this first step your relationship to a stress response.
YOUR dailyiO [ input and output] is the practice and habit of/by tracking daily data points of your patterns in how you deal with an activation know as stress.
STRESS is inevitable in all forms of daily life. the awareness and power that awareness gives you is the key that unlocks your future that you wish to have.
SELF SCAN your iOS [ internal operating system]
IQ - BRAIN
What is my mind thinking ? [ offensive or defensive ]
CQ - COMMUNICATION STYLE
What do I want to say, what do i need to say ? [ offensively or defensively ]
EQ - EMOTIONS
What am I feeling and how is it impacting me ?
BQ - BODY
Where do I feel tension in my body right now ? or lack of connection ie numb?
TQ - TRAUMA unresolved stress responses
Am I feeling a big reaction / activation right now in comparison to this present moment
this information gives you the foundation of your behavior, your current relationship to stress and now we begin to explore where it gets stuck or how you create space for it to process. stress is a visceral ( felt ) sensation or feeling that flows through you. if you shame it or ignore it , it will get stuck.
how often to observe your feeling and allow it to simply be. and then work it through . your brain, and body ???
to complete a stress response activation in your body it must be processed in your brain and body in order for it to be released and allow to flow through .
its not a “ To Do “ per say… it is a process of flow.
with this information above, either in your mind, or tracking on a piece of paper or your phone notes. you move to building the first foundation of building capacity ( which can be considered the foundation to healthy authentic resilience)
ORIENTING
Orienting is the practice of connection in realtime to your inner self, in relationship to others, and your greater environment.
Find a place you are comfortable - laying down, sitting up, outdoors walking.
Notice your body, what is it being held by?
Notice your eyes and what they see.
Notice your breath without disconnecting from the above, as you breathe in and out however your body wants to breathe. No
judgement and do not try and change it.
Notice whats around you–do you feel a breeze on your skin or a bird chirping? Traffic? Or simply what is the reality present around
you?
Come back to your breath and eyes. Notice the chair or ground holding you.
Touch a part of your leg or arms without disconnecting from your breath, eyes, ears, environment and what’s holding you.
Incorporate noticing if your body is in a stress response. Which one and what is it feeling like? Come back to the above 1-7 and repeat until you feel at ease in the present moment.
the goal of orienting is to work on ( troubleshoot ) in areas you may notice a disconnection in real time .
this may seem similar to a mindfulness practice, yet the differentiator is that you also are aware now of what a stress response can be within you. ie. FIGHT | FLIGHT | FREEZE | FAWN and the full permission to stop meditating or being “ Mindful “ and only focus on reconnecting to you body and your environment at the pace you see fit.
sometimes our bodies are protecting us from feeling anything, or too much of something.
that is a gift and we need to respect our pace. do not force anything and YOU decide how and when you want to practice orienting.
Orienting is simply orienting to the present moment. no trend or outcome of no thoughts in the mind, nor silence and peace.
Orienting is the way to connect to ALL of ourself in action at all times and builds a foundation of capacity to create space for a stress response or any feeling or visceral experience to play out naturally and in a healthy manner.
if you wish for a verbal/ voice guided lesson, check out internal safety 101 intro course here.
Resources for modalities that support connection to your iOS here.
when you try any support resource like therapy or dancing… track in your preferred method of recording what you are experiencing. writing, online, in your mind, or creating art.
it could be that you notice nothing at all…. or you feel an array of things. simply track it with no judgment nor story attached other than for the goal of getting to know your personal iOS and notice where it may need support to reconnect in places its disconnected, numb, or over whelmed.
Ways to work with Mimy Regjo author of this piece…
Personal inquiries about coaching with me contact me here : info@dailyio.co
Corporate inquiries for teams interested in Physiological Stress Management Training contact me here :
Keynote inquiries : info@dailyio.co